Finding the Way Home

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Location: Atlanta, Georgia, United States

I am a (shudder) thirty-something guy looking for my way home, my purpose. I'm working through a possible call to the priesthood in the Episcopal Church (USA), so expect some theological/spiritual musings herein (along with the usual day-to-day blather).

Friday, June 23, 2006

Prayers Ascending

At the fabulous suggestion of my friend Mark, I have created an offshoot of this blog called Prayers Ascending for any interesting prayers that I happen to come across. I am subscribed to all kinds of email lists and am always messaging interesting prayers to him, so he suggested I share with everyone. Enjoy!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

How's about a silly meme?

Stolen from Elizabeth....

1. Open up your media player or winamp or ipod or whatever, set it to shuffle.
2. List the first 25 songs.
3. Add "in my pants" to the end of each song title.
4. Bold your favourites.


1. Long, Long Ago in My Pants - All Saints' Choir (....far, far away....)
2. Love and Luck in My Pants - Jimmy Buffett (Yeah, not so much....)
3. Pray That Jerusalem May Have in My Pants - Wells Cathedral Choir (makes not much sense, huh?)
4. Starshine in My Pants - Gorillaz (My God, they're full of stars....)
5. Cowboy Junkies Lament in My Pants - Cowboy Junkies (I'm so sorry....)
6. Main Titles in My Pants - The Little Mermaid Soundtrack (And wait 'til you see the ending!)
7. Louisiana Hannah in My Pants - Webb Wilder (
Laissez les bons temps rouler!)
8. Moanin' Coat in My Pants - Michelle Malone (Yes, I keep a coat in my pants just in case...)
9. Conduit for Sale! in My Pants - Pavement (See me for all your electrical needs!)
10. Bullwinkle, Part II in My Pants - The Centurians (Is that a moose in my pants??)
11. The Sword of Islam in My Pants - Saviour Machine (Ouch!)
12. What Sweeter Music in My Pants - University Choir, The University of the South (None sweeter....)
13. One PM Again in My Pants - Yo La Tengo (Pocket watch! Get it? Yeah?)
14. Masquerade/Why So Silent in My Pants - The Phantom of the Opera (Duh...no Taco Bell for lunch!)
15. Somewhere Far Beyond in My Pants - Blind Guardian
16. Cornflake Girl in My Pants - Tori Amos (The Cookie Crisp Girl was busy....)
17. Silent Night in My Pants - Jamie O'Neal (Most of them are....)
18. Jamming in My Pants - Bob Marley (Always!)
19. Deireadh An Tuath in My Pants - Enya (???)
20. Love Song for a Savior in My Pants - Jars of Clay (Uhhhh....no)
21. Shell of a Man in My Pants - The Juliana Theory (*sigh*)
22. The Mahavishnu Mountain Boys in My Pants - Sam Bush (Get them out!)
23. Burning My Soul in My Pants - Dream Theater (As long as that's all that's burning....)
24. Friendship in My Pants - Judy Garland (I love you, You love me....)
25. Flippin' Jenny in My Pants - The Reel Time Travelers (Smackin' and rubbin' down, too....)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Little Boy Lost

So it's been nearly six months since I last posted here....

Much like cheesy 80's Genesis I live in a Land of Confusion. Things haven't gone too well on the ex front for a few months now, and the majority of my mind wants to move on. Things have not improved as much as I had thought they had in many ways. Whenever I'm around her I just feel plain uncomfortable, so I find myself being distant. I don't like that.

So I'm trying to make a decision here, and it feels like I'm in pretty much the same spot I was in right before the divorce. I'm not happy, and (I'm guessing) that my not being happy certainly doesn't make her happy. I don't want to be unfair to her and keep wasting her time, and she has said as much to me. I just really HATE breaking things off with anyone; I feel like I'm disappointing them, that I'm maybe not trying my hardest. Bah....

So that's where I am, for what it's worth. Not the greatest place in the world.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Back for the Attack!

OK, so I went seriously missing in action there for a loooooong time. The last couple of months of 2005 were decidedly odd. Things I have been up to (in no particular order):

  1. Well, even though I'm denying that there is any order to this list, this tidbit of information should probably come first....I've been dating my ex-wife since just after Thanksgiving. What a wacky situation it is, let me tell you! I don't know how much detail I ever went into over why we were divorced in the first place (I know some of you know, though), but she's doing much better with her eating disorder, her attitude and outlook on life has done a complete 180, and (this is the bit that got me) she's been seeing a spiritual director/counselor. She even came to church with me today, a practice which was a major issue in our previous life together. Suffice to say, I'm cautiously optimistic about the whole thing. The two major issues that I had with her seem to be being dealt with, and we're seeing a couples counselor to address some of the issues (mainly communication and intimacy) that we had together. God willing....
  2. I can't recall whether I ever posted about this, but probably not....I was offered full-time employment at my company which will begin effective January 23, so I'm very excited about that. I really like this company, my co-workers, and my job itself at this point in my life. Does that mean that the call I heard about possibly being a priest was not a call at all? I don't know....I've not completely disgarded the idea, and I have a feeling that if God really does want me to serve in that capacity I won't be able to disgard the idea.
  3. I actually have some goals (and plans for them) for 2006, the primary goal being the elimination of all of my debt. Goal #2 is the purchase of a townhome or condo by end of June 2007. Quicken is really being helpful in this arena.
  4. Sadly, the Episcopal Fit Challenge was a complete failure. I signed up in November for the Team in Training for a half marathon. I successfully trained for a little over a month before my knees completely gave out on me. I should probably go to a doctor and have them looked at, but I don't really like going to the doctor so I've been putting it off. I went back to the gym yesterday for the first time in approximately 3 weeks and did a half hour on the elliptical trainer (no impact on the knees...yay!). I was surprised to see that I had only gained 3 pounds what with all the holiday eating and complete lack o' exercise.
  5. Again sadly, my prayer life hasn't been what it should be this past couple o' months, either. But, as Beth pointed out in her sermon this morning, a new year is a clean slate. May God help me improve on this front....
So it was a hectic/crazy/surreal end of the year, but 2006 holds much promise. It may be cheezy to say, but I feel as though a corner has been turned, that lessons have been learned, and that brighter days are ahead.

May God fill 2006 with blessings for you all!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Thank God for TR!

OK, so we're finally back to doing Theological Reflections at EfM after several weeks of Spiritual Autobiographies. And for the first one of the year, it was a doozie! We started from the Tradition quadrant, reading Exodus 32:1-14. It's the bit where the Israelites build the Golden Calf, God gets really angry and decides to smite them, but then Moses talks Him out of it. The operative word for me for the evening was "grace," favor given without merit.

I believe that grace is freely given to all, that there's nothing we have to do for it. (I stymied another member of the group by saying that I believe that we don't even have to believe in God to receive His grace; the whole point of grace to me is that there are no conditions at all.) Do we always recognize grace when we see it? No, of course not; we mistake it for a lucky break assuming we notice it at all.

I certainly haven't been noticing the abundant grace in my life lately; I've been far too busy feeling sorry for myself. As a result of tonight's TR, though, I've come to the realization that putting so much energy into feeling sorry for myself is a waste of time and opportunity. I haven't done anything at all to warrant the blessings which I do have in my life (and which I consistently ignore), but I will endeavour to thank God as often as possible for them.


So #1 on the list is thanking God for Theological Reflection and EfM without which I would most likely still be moping around wasting the good life which I am blessed to have.

Thanks be to God!

Bleh....

I've been feeling down lately and consequently went into "hermit" mode this weekend. I spent most of the weekend alone aside from a brief foray to a friend's house to watch a little football (I didn't stay very long), church, and youth group. (Sorry, Elizabeth, for missing Fr. Keating!). Even at the church activities, I didn't hang around afterward as I normally do. I've been doing a lot of sleeping lately, too, finding it difficult to drag my fat butt out of bed in the mornings. Not really sure what my problem is, but I'm hoping it goes away really soon....if you're inclined to it, I'd appreciate any prayers you might throw my way....God bless....

Monday, October 03, 2005

Kanuga, etc.

OK, I'm going to do the etc. first because it is irritating me greatly at the moment. It shouldn't, but it is.

Tonight's EfM didn't go as well as I would have liked. There was a little bit of tension which I wasn't happy about, but it can't always be perfect, right? (I had written more about the specifics, but then realized that there's absolutely no need to go into all of it so erased it. It was enough just to get it out, but nobody else needs to be dragged down by it.) I'm okay with it all now....

Anyway, now that I've gotten that out of the way....

Kanuga was great! For those of you not in the know, Kanuga is an Episcopal retreat center in the mountains of western North Carolina near Hendersonville. My church goes up there for a weekend every October. This weekend marked my second visit.

It's primarily a social event, although there is normally some kind of program that is given on the Saturday morning of the weekend. Well, the scheduled speaker this year sadly passed away just a month or so before, so they decided to do service projects at the kids' camp run by the same folks.

Anyway, I drove up Friday with one of my friends from my EfM group. I wasn't able to leave work until after 3:00 because of a meeting. Ah, well, what can you do? After stopping by my place and getting my things and picking up my friend, it was 4:30 before we headed out in earnest. It took us an HOUR AND A HALF to get out of Atlanta. Ridiculous! Needless to say, we missed the 6:30 dinner, so we stopped in Greenville for cheap Mexican.

We finally got there at 10:00, and enjoyed the last hour of the social hour. A couple glasses of wine calmed me down, and I headed off to bed.

Saturday morning I went with the youth to nearby Chimney Rock where we hiked around for a couple of hours. Sadly, only 13 kids signed up to go, but it was nice to get to know those few kids a little bit better. Several of them are in my Rite 13 class on Sunday mornings, so that was good.

We got back around 1:00, and I just chilled after that. I spent a little time walking the labyrinth there. (It's pretty nice and quite a bit larger than the one at St. Philip's, although they are both of the Chartres design.) Then I sat on the back porch of the inn in a rocking chair and pretended to read while dozing a bit. I finally decided to give up on the pretense of reading and went back to my room for a nap.

Then it was time for another social hour which was fun, and then dinner which was greasy fried chicken served family style in a very poor fashion. Needless to say, my eating was not anywhere NEAR healthy this weekend....

However, after dinner was a "Motown" dance down by the lake at which I shook my proverbial tail feather for a couple of hours and completely enchanted a beautiful girl...

...who is 2. My friend's adopted daughter just thought I was the bee's knees, let me tell you. She made eyes at me all weekend long....

Anyway, they stopped playing Motown around 10:00 and started playing other music which wasn't nearly as good, so my EfM friend and I left and headed to what I have heard dubbed "The Gay Cabin," "The Boys' Cabin," and "The Party Cabin."

A little background - my church is in midtown Atlanta, and we have a fair number of gay and lesbian members. Each year at Kanuga several gay men (many of whom are dear friends of mine) all get a cabin together and throw the absolute BEST party. Everybody stops in at some point for the festivities. I closed my Saturday evening out there talking to friends and imbibing just a wee bit more than I should have....ah, live and learn! (You'd think I'd have learned by now, tho....at least I wasn't alone in my over-indulgence, though; there were quite a few bleary eyes on Sunday morning....)

Anyway, I was in bed by 12:15 or so and the Sunday morning Eucharist wasn't until 9:30, so I got a good night's sleep and didn't feel TOO badly the next morning. The service was nice and an interesting break from the normal Sunday All Saints' experience in that everyone was dressed very casually. And we always end with everyone singing "When the Saints Go Marching In" as we file out of the church. Good stuff....

After brunch/lunch, my friend and I packed up and headed back to Atlanta. We were both very tired, so after I dropped her off at her house, I came home and took a nice nap. And THEN I went to bed early....awesome....and NOW I'm going to bed. G'night!

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Rocking on a Sunday Afternoon....

Y'all can thank Elizabeth for leading me to a little Britny Fox right about now:

Well, here they come girls from the school,
Breakin' the rules, hot on the loose.
My girl left right from school,
came over to my house, woo!

At the GIRLSCHOOL!
Coz my baby broke all the rules!

Ah, yes, nothing like a little cheesy 80's metal on a Sunday afternoon....

I have been pretty incredibly LAME this weekend (a trend which I am quite obviously continuing by listening to Britny Fox). On Friday evening I went to play a little music trivia since I had missed it on our regular Wednesday night. We sucked big-time...but, hey, I won a couple of shooters by recognizing Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill" and The Kinks' "Come Dancing" before anyone else. Good enough....

Yesterday I met up with a buddy of mine and his brother to watch the Georgia Tech/Virginia Tech game. They're both big GT fans. We first went to ESPNZone, but it was packed, so we went up the road to Loco's Deli & Pub. We ate and watched only the first half since GT was getting SPANKED big-time. I then had absolutely NOTHING to do, so I went by Tower and picked up the Calexico/Iron & Wine collaboration In the Reins for $7.99 and the DVD of Singles for $6.99. I did pretty well this particular visit.

The CD is really good, by the way....I love Iron & Wine and Sam Beam wrote all the songs, so it's like a new Iron & Wine CD with a lot more instrumentation (via Calexico) than usual. Highly recommended....

I just laid around last night, read my EfM lesson, watched Singles (which is a FANTASTIC movie), listened to some music, and then went to bed. Lame, lame, lame....

I was scheduled to serve as lector at the 11:15 service this morning, so I slept until nearly 8:00, went to Sunday School where my co-teacher showed clips from Joan of Arcadia, and we talked a little bit about how we perceive God. Chris' sermon at the 11:15 was really good, dealing with how God is calling each of us to do His work, regardless of whether we think we're capable or worthy. It's an idea with which I sometimes struggle.

I did a little shopping after church - got another pair of jeans, some shirts, and some new shoes, all of which were pretty sorely needed. Crikey, I loathe spending money on clothing, though....I mean, there's so much music I have yet to buy! Lol....

Anyway, I've got some chores to do and some grocery shopping before I have to be back at church for youth group. I will really try not to go so long without posting again. The last couple of weeks were super-busy for me, and it looks like some of that is lifting. We'll see....